The start of the school year is a bittersweet moment for all parents. The joy that means you no longer have to entertain your children, and the sadness of having to look good first thing in the morning. But if you’re blind-eyed, you might run into one of these parental archetypes, so here’s what you should avoid:
1. Rick
We bound all the books back in the bag in June, laid out brand new uniforms this morning, and even though everyone was up at 6 in the morning, we can hear them before we see them. Spirulina smoothies, it was still a dash to get to the school gates before anyone else. Because that’s what our pockets need right now. End of term.
2. First-timers
Parents crying at the school gates are not a rare sight on the first day back at school, but mostly they are tears of joy when we drop the little devil into the Ministry of Education’s open mouth. Newbies are really heartbroken — whisper the lyrics cat in the cradle They try to put on a brave face before going into emotional turmoil. Oh my god, how will their beloved firstborn coping with leaving home for the first time?
My eldest son, on the other hand, is living the best life and is happy to hug everyone, give his teachers a high-five, and take his first steps away from his stuffy home life. It makes it even worse for first timers who have to be forced out and are still in tears.
3. Veteran
The first day of returning to work is like any other day on the veteran’s school calendar. Their hearts are hardened beyond repair by pushing some offspring into elementary and middle school. They know there is no room for emotion here — even if your child feels you are weak, or vaguely thinks of leaving you at home for whatever reason (this is due to Covid suspicions). , just to keep you from talking because you have a company, or whatever). cats) they seize the moment and start sobbing uncontrollably.A veteran can see through all these crocodile tears, roll bloodshot eyes, shove them firmly and forcefully into the back of a school-goer, turn heel and leave, like Kevin Spacey in the crowd the end of disappearing the usual suspectIt doesn’t matter if they are out for an important meeting or out for a cup of tea. If you could just push the kids out of a moving car door and do it without stopping the car, they would.
4. Pajama party
You try to give them room for doubt—perhaps they are frontline workers, ready to go to bed after a night shift. But you think otherwise – they’re literally wearing pajamas and there’s a clump of sleep in their eyes, barely awake on their first day. I just wear my pajamas to every class all year round. All they can do is have the dignity to stick with designer leisurewear like the Range Rover Evoque Crew.
5. Executive
Like ghosts, you never see them. They leave before school starts and unnamed relatives do the collection.that kid always looks like damien thorn omen, or a young Boris Johnson. Executive is D.B. Cooper, a school drop-off.
6. angry man
Beep, horn, they’re coming in mad cars, why is everyone getting in the way, why no one knows how to park, where did you learn to drive, you realize you’re slowing them down No court-ordered anger management training? Perched on wheels with veins popping out of his temples, only the whites of his eyes are visible as he returns his pupils to his skull in response to your attempt to get the child off without being run over. School defibrillators will likely get their first use by attempting resuscitation when they capsize from an anger-induced heart episode.
7. Run a little behind your parents
They start the year on time, 15 to 30 minutes late each day. There may be a reason why they are late.While you are away from school they are rounding a handbrake turn in an 02 Zafira full of children and animals. As soon as I get off and take him to school, he’s overcome with an endorphin rush and everyone is chatting. This is a shame as everyone else is at home or at work by then.
8. Couples
Despite the fact that Fiakra is entering a transition year, they both had to be there on the first day of their little Fiakra, so they took a full day off work. They just want to be supportive and chat with teachers about some of the issues they raised earlier in the last year or with the principal about Fiacra’s choice of subjects and how to shuffle them to maximize his misfortune. It’s not as much of a helicopter parent as the Tandem Rotor Chinook, but it’s just as loud and annoying.
9. Dad who works from home
is he still working? You’ll never know, he shows up to school every day in cargo shorts and flip flops, chats friendly and is in no rush at all. There is no sense of urgency here, and the utopian tech company he works for expects him to turn the clock on and off at fixed times and do things that constitute real work. It’s clear that you don’t want to be harsh on the topic. Unless you want to talk about how to roast coffee beans yourself for 45 minutes, don’t chat with him.
10. New Arrivals
Whatever you do, don’t make eye contact. They paint a frozen smile across their face as they usher their child through the gate, and they turn their heads as they look for someone to chat with. Oh my god, they’re coming… oh you’re new to the area? Just moved here and how interesting. I’d love to stay and chat…. Yes, you can imagine being lonely. I’m sure the little gobnite can easily make friends as long as they don’t exude a need like you do. No Tinder for coffee mornings? Why can’t you keep it up? Middle-aged and older people don’t have time to spend with their friends, and if they do, they do it in the traditional way of getting drunk in the pub or meeting up with friends instead of picking them up at the school gate. attempts to obtain banned books from the curriculum of
11. Eco Warrior
They wear Patagonian ponchos to school in the rain. You give them a lift but you don’t want to be looked down upon for driving a diesel-spitting death machine. campaign to bring education together, and telling them that everyone needs to get involved in politics. I hope they run for local elections and the oil lobbyists push them in front of the bus.
12. Favor Seeker
We may have talked to you once or twice, but one day they approached you and asked if you could pick up your child from school because something had happened and no one was there to help. increase. 1 hour or 3 hours. Indeed, I, a total stranger, take care of your child and am also a total stranger. This is how communities are built, not how villages are taken. Then, when they pick up the kids at 9 p.m., you start feeling like a minion when you find out it was a Pilates class they couldn’t get out of. Then when I ask them to help me one day they flatly say no and they can’t do it. sorry. Favorable questioners are why you have trust issues.
