Such pop songs enhance the female passiveness and male agency binaries in the realm of courtship, along with the abundance of Disney Princess movies and chick-lit novels.

The dating gurus and columns have taught me how to act accordingly. Rule: A long-standing secret to the New York Times bestseller Wright, published in 1995, tells the female generation not to talk to men first (Rule 2) and leads them. I got the right (Rule No. 17).

Almost 30 years after its publication, The Rules still has enthusiastic fans today. The author currently offers consulting services and a mass of wisdom on Facebook. For example: Be mysterious and don’t share too many photos in particular! “

So I always thought that by wearing a shy cloak and striving to maintain femininity, Mr. Wright would come and wipe my feet out someday.

However, many missed opportunities from my own strict reins soon realized that I was wrong. I experienced the same cycle of conversation that was stalled by my passivity, but it was soon slow and gave in to an indifferent reply. By playing hard, I didn’t alleviate it – I was showing a lack of interest.

Many of us feel that such norms do harm to our relationship with ourselves. In a Bumble survey, 81% of Singapore respondents said that gender roles make people’s behavior different from what they really are, and 79% say that gender roles make it more difficult to establish equal relationships. increase.

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