After Kate died in January, the school year gave me the structure I needed for the next six months. A few hours of silence each day allowed me to work and try to organize my life managers and define what normal was like for all of us. provided the necessary routines for
Days have turned into weeks, Easter holidays and midterm holidays have come and gone, and we’ve come to see summer vacation as some kind of promised land. Every morning during the last few weeks of school, the boys asked how many days left until summer vacation. Seven, Six, Five, Four… The countdown was fun. Soon school tyranny will be over for them. And the tedium of making lunch every morning is over for me.
Children were tired. i was tired The teachers must have been tired too. It was everyone’s first full year after lockdown and homeschooling. We limped to the finish line. On the last day of the semester, when my last sons came out of school and the five of us went home, I hugged them and said, “We did it.” and it came out as a sob. we made it. But what about now?
Any parent of young children will tell you that purgatory is next. Sure, it could be separated by camps, activities, and vacations, but it’s still vague. They also complained about the camp. So I gave them a free pass. It’s been a summer of nothing.
“Kate has always outdone me in providing the emotional padding the boys need to resist school and other activities. She makes the mundane into the inspiring.” I was able to
I’m back in school now. I’m looking forward to the return of the routine, but expect it to be a fight, or a series of energy-draining daily skirmishes.
I’ve been priming the boys for the return to school routines. Information like “I need to buy new shoes” or “Are you excited about your new teacher?” greeted with a howl of dismay. My mother-in-law took each of them shopping to get new shirts, pants and jumpers. She sweetens her deal with hot chocolate and treats like only her grandma can.
But I worry that a big transfer like back-to-school requires a lot of feminine energy. She was always better than me at providing padding. She could make the mundane exciting. She gave kids confidence, failures, big hugs, and listened to their worries before they even walked through the school gates. I hope you have the time and energy to do this for each of you.
Each faces different challenges. There’s separation anxiety, homeschooling hangups, and a refusal to wear certain elements of the uniform, resulting in some unique outfits on some mornings. I made them do their homework from January to July. But that means he’ll be back with a vengeance in September. this will be a pain. You will also need to return to extracurricular activities such as swimming that were not scheduled. This is a challenge for them too.
and for me? What I miss most is someone I can share my concerns about academic progress, discipline, and school reports. I was a carefree person who said, “It’s okay.” Kate read the reports over and over again and engaged more with her teachers. It was easy to outsource many of my concerns to her.
Yes, I have support from friends and family. Teachers at both schools are proactive and understanding, and the false intimacy of chatting with parents at the school gate is more supportive than you might think. I’m not used to it.
I also miss the logistical support of having someone to share the tedious school-related chores. Someone else who occasionally runs the school. Someone who sometimes does the washing of uniforms. And someone who makes that damn school lunch every morning.
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