The back-to-school season is well underway, with families across the country readjusting to the start of dreaded early mornings, last-minute hunts for sports equipment, and strife over homework and leftover lunches.
For many, September also means returning to extracurricular activities, taking the kids to music lessons and team training.
Encouraging children to participate in team sports and various outlets is positive, according to psychotherapist and book author Joanna Fortune. 15 minutes of parenting Having unstructured free time is just as important as reading a book.
“[Children and teens] I just need time and space at home to play, read, and daydream,” she says. “We are getting bored and losing the ability to think of it as a good thing. Our children need time to process everything they do, experience and learn during the day.
“Being active in a healthy way means using light, moderate, and high levels of stimulation and It means having a wave of activity. Their extracurricular activities should be guided by their interests, not our parent’s agenda.
Psychotherapist and author Stella O’Malley says there are ways to spot the signs of “burnout” in children whose parents are overdoing it.
“If your child can’t get up in the morning, it’s simply too tired,” she says. “Episodes of sobbing and anxious anger also indicate that a child’s lifestyle is too busy. It’s a sign of being overwhelmed.
“I remember one parent telling me that the schedule is so tight that Wednesdays are always filled with tears. Please re-evaluate your activities and see if you can get rid of one of them.
“Parents are responsible for the mental health of their families, and they may have to make enforcement decisions when certain activities go wrong.”
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Joanna Fortune.Photo: Firechild Photography
Peder Maxwell, a child psychologist, agrees, saying that despite the many benefits of extracurricular activities, “you can spread yourself too thin.” I might actually like it.”
Extra-curricular activities for children put additional pressure on parents. There are costs and pressure to keep up with fellow parents.
“A pushy parent can make life very difficult for others,” says mother Patricia Molloy.
“I can’t understand the obsession with signing up kids for every activity,” she says. And I think it’s a mountain of nonsense.
“Sure, it’s great for kids to play sports, but it’s also because mom wants them to be good at tennis, but dad wants them to be captain of the county team. And it’s great to be able to play an instrument and speak a foreign language, but when a grade-schooler comes home in the evening and a few hours later goes out again and learns how to play the fiddle and up to 10 If that means learning how to count, in German, it’s not fair to them.”
“My four children (three girls and one boy, ages 10-16) have been in a variety of activities over the years, but have always remained in moderation. There was, and sometimes still is, a lot of pressure from friends and other parents to send them to all sorts of things other people are going to do. Secondly, I don’t want to spend my life in a car Thirdly, I don’t want my kids to spend all their lives because childhood is the only time they can relax without feeling guilty. I think we need to be able to enjoy it as much as possible instead of filling it up.”
But for other parents, extracurricular activities are an integral part of their child’s schedule. This is also true of her Jan Brierton, who says her 12-year-old daughter is busy almost every day.
“All the after-school activities my kids participate in are sports related,” says the fashion creative and poet. “My daughter is a dizzy and she has six extra sports days a week.
“My 9-year-old son’s main additional activity is soccer. Twice a week and once on weekend mornings. It’s been a long day.”
But Jean, who lives in North Dublin, says she’s happy to help with additional activities. “So far, kids choose to do extracurricular activities on their own and they hate to miss it, so we’re doing our best to make it work.
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Jan Brierton says her children enjoy all sports activities.Photo: Jerry Mooney
Ronagh Healy keeps his three daughters (ages 5, 8 and 10) busy “every night.” While she says she’s often exhausted by moving around, she feels it’s “beneficial for their growth.”
“When I was growing up, I didn’t do anything but go to school and come home in the evenings,” she says. Whenever I went, I always felt that I was missing.And when I had children of my own, I decided that I wanted to give them every opportunity that I never had. I think the most important job is to make sure they have the best possible experience.
“My family knows we can afford to involve our daughters in a variety of activities, but we believe there are significant benefits for their development,” she says.
Child psychologist Peadar Maxwell says the key here is to listen to your child, be selective, and most importantly, ensure enough downtime for your child to relax and reflect. is to
“Encourage them to learn the benefits of balancing school, activities, play (or social life) and staying at home instead of participating in everything,” he says. If your kids are in school all day and active every night and weekend, they have little time to relax, be with their families and recharge. or sulky, unaware that it is caused by a lack of alone time or opportunity to breathe.
“So look at your child’s week and ask them where they get their time to relax, play, and be with their families. It is recommended.”
