Emma Thompson states that young people’s expectations of sex “certainly can be very disturbing.”
The actress (63) talked about “easy access” to pornography and pressure on young girls prior to the release of her new movie Good Luck To You, Leo Grande, about a widow hiring a young sex worker. ..
Thompson told Sky News about his daughter’s generation’s attitude towards sex:
“When you talk to young people about their sexual knowledge, what they expect, and what they think of sex, it can certainly be very disturbing and their sexual development. I think it could hinder it. “
In a survey conducted by NSPCC in the United Kingdom, nearly half (48%) of the 11-16 year olds surveyed watched online pornography.
And the American organization Youth First suggests that the average age at which children first see online pornography is 11.
Over the past year or so, conversations about sexual harassment and assault at school have been held. In particular, thanks to Everyone’s Invited (everyonesinvited.uk), a place where survivors of sexual assault share stories, we can see how widespread this problem has spread in schools. And college.
So how can parents and caregivers educate their children about what a healthy relationship looks like, what consent really means, and the reality of pornography?
Putting consent and joy at the forefront
According to Dr. Anand Patel, a general practitioner and sexual function expert who works with lovehoney (lovehoney.co.uk), “When you start talking to children about sex that is too young, they want it. There is a misconception that you can find that information regardless of whether you want your child to have access. In fact, you are never too young to start talking to your children about your consent. “
Sex educator and coach Ruth Ramsay (ruthramsay.com) agrees: By the time children are ready for early sex education, it should simply be the case when applying these lessons to sex.
“The same applies to joy. Children need to better understand that their bodies are joyful and safe to explore from an early age.
“As a sex educator and coach, I see too often in work with adults. How damaging it is to deprive sex education of joy. Sex is not only us, but our partners. If we don’t understand what it means to be comfortable for us, we endure negative experiences and actions. “
Tell them about the reality of pornography
In 2021, singer Billie Eilish talked about how watching violent pornography “destroyed her brain” when she was young and affected her first sexual experience.
Regarding SiriusXM, she said: “As a woman, I think porn is shameful. I started watching porn when I was 11, but I couldn’t understand why it was bad. That’s what you have sex with. I thought it was the way I learned. “
“Pornography is not intended for sex education, but it is a major source of information for children and teens who do not receive this information elsewhere,” Ramsey said.
“The metaphor I’ve found is valid for both kids and adults. You can’t expect to learn to drive by watching Fast and the Furious. Similarly, learning to” do “sex by watching pornography you can’t. .. Let them know that it is not “real”. “
In recent years, creators such as Erika Lust have sought more ethical and feminist pornography, revolutionizing the way pornography is consumed and created.
Adjust your sex conversation to your child’s age, but frankly
There are different conversations about having sex with children of different ages, but Ramsey suggests that honesty is the best bet and maintain an open conversation.
“No one has a” sex conversation “with children of a certain age. It’s a topic to build. For example, as a baby grows into an infant and learns about the names of his body and body parts, he needs to include the correct name of the genital anatomy in a real way.
“When a child grows older, if he does not know the correct name for a part of his body, or if he feels that his body is not a source of joy, he cannot practice informed and authoritative consent. . “
Encourage questions
Ramsey wants to make it more comfortable for children to ask questions, especially about what they have heard at school and what they have seen in pornography.
“By making sex a shameless topic, we have space for children to ask questions naturally,” she says. “But they may be picking up shameful messages from society and other children, so it’s important to remind them that” whenever you want to ask something about sex, feel free. ” .. Don’t be shy when asked if you don’t know the answer. If you don’t know the answer, I encourage you to look it up together. “
Open communication will empower both you and you, and hopefully your child will stop looking at pornography for sex education.
