hugs, kisses, boundaries

hugs, kisses, boundaries

cresh life

Merrell Miedema says no one wants to be hit, but they should not assume they want to be hugged or kissed

When a child hits another person, adults often say, “Be nice” or “Don’t stroke and hit,” replacing the seemingly negative interaction with a positive one.

But come to think of it, petting someone instead of hitting them might be less painful.

Naturally, when a toddler who is jealous of a new born baby tries to hurt the baby, they may instruct him to hug or kiss him instead. Not only does this send a mixed message to both children (the elder’s emotions don’t match his behavior), but no one is thinking about the baby’s needs. In other words, no one respects the boundaries of small children.

So what’s the problem? Hugs are nice, right? I love hugs and kisses, but like I said before, I always ask kids (and adults) if they want a hug. No matter how good your intentions are, unwanted intimacy ultimately shows a lack of respect.

Of course, we always hug and kiss little babies without discussing consent first, just because we can’t actively discuss it, but it’s worth thinking about respect for little ones anyway. It may seem counterintuitive and it is certainly a difficult subject, but teaching children that they are respected and that others need to be respected is very important. .

A group setting like a nursery school is a great place to see a theme like this. If a child hugs another child and finds it to be a one-way interaction, ask the child being hugged to enjoy it. ask if there is If they say yes, say “how nice” and if they say no, tell the hugger that next time they can ask if the other person wants a hug, huggie Tell them that they are allowed to say no at any time.

Also, set an example by asking your children’s permission and only offering hugs when you think your child needs one. In other words, we (adults) offer hugs to meet the needs of our children, not because we need them ourselves.

We never tell a child who hits another child to hug or kiss him instead. We use the word respect to describe that even very young children don’t touch other people if they don’t want to be touched. No one wants to be hit, but no one wants to be hugged or kissed. Whenever I think about this subject, I am reminded of advertisements from my youth that showed people being hugged and petted by others while they worked.

The message is don’t touch other people because you don’t want to be touched randomly when you’re working. Let’s extend this message a little further by teaching us to respect the

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