All questions are ridiculous if you ask us.

I’m going to Iceland at the end of September, how is the weather?

Ah, the weather forecast, the most useless thing in Iceland. The only sure prediction is that it has a 100% chance of surviving all conditions. You should expect rain, cold, wind, sun and (minimal) heat. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if real cats and dogs fell from the sky. The average temperature is supposed to be around 8.5°C, but average means nothing in Iceland. Your best bet is to ignore what the prediction says (it will be wrong) and wear more layers than you think you need.

How long do new volcanoes last?

call me psychic But I think the new volcano will last until August 22nd, 2022. I know my predictions are amazingly accurate, but what can I say. My true calling may be to become a volcanologist. Sadly for all volcano lovers, Fagradalsfjall gave up because she got mad at all the stupid people making ridiculous decisions near her. But don’t get too upset that you missed her, scientists think this is just the beginning of more volcanic activity.
RIP Fagradalsfjall 22/08/2022.

Swimming in lava will kill you, but it’s a pretty cool legacy to leave behind. Is it worth it?

This stunt might make some news headlines, but it might not be the smartest or most comfortable way to go out. It seems. Also, search and rescue teams are already overwhelmed with dealing with other stupid idiots making stupid choices, and this stunt will no doubt only make their day more difficult. I suggest you set it up and make a movie of him home swimming in lava. You’ll be free from burns and the search and rescue team will have an easier day. Who knows, this might launch your film career.

Do you have a pressing question that needs an answer? We give absolutely terrible advice but we keep answering because you keep asking. Email grapevine@grapevine.is

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